Fright Night (2011 & 1985) Crossover: Vivian Addams VS Jerry
by GaGa4FrightNight
Summary: Reposting this at request. The quirky Vivian Addams from the Fright Night Series runs into Jerry Dandrige of 2011 remake and calls him out as trying to play poser as the real deal! Give him hell, Viv!


(Author)

Hiya, peoples! Well, I know many of you probably think I'm bias when it comes to the 1985 Fright Night and 2011 Fright Night. Well, y'all be right because there is nothing like the original. Okay, I was sitting at my friend's house and behold the remake was on SyFy; the last half hour of it anyways. Then the day before my hubby tells me he bought the dvd of the remake on EBay and will shortly be arriving; got it for an expensive price of $3.00! Wow, see it was purchased on behalf of a certain fan fiction request to continue the analysis between both movies characters. Well, I got inspired. Yeah, yeah, Farrell is yummy just only if he wasn't claiming to be Jerry Dandridge and wasn't such a dick and ate Chris Sarandon. Yes, claimed! That's where this inspiration has taken me! Okay, let's just do a little of a type of crossover between both movies. Well, more along the lines a crossover between my Fright Night works and the remake. Hey, I love what the fan fiction peeps write for the remake because they've made it much more interesting and one in particular gave the new guy (Farrell's Jerry) a freaking soul (SHOUT OUT to VENDELA)!

Where am I headed? Well, let's just say...the whole story you know for the remake, well, bull crap! The new guy ain't gonna know what hit him! Well, when he does, it'll be too late because fakers, posers, or identity theives don't get a happy ending! MUAH-AH-AH-AH! All you remake and Collin Ferrell Dandridge fans are gonna wanna hunt my ass down and feed me to him! Good luck, because I'd stake myself before I let that dude get his fangs in me! Y'all hate me yet? Just wait, you're gonna really hate me after this and a particularly beautiful creature I've grown fond of writing (nope not the real Jerry)...She's stunning, overly sexual, fashion backwards and forwards at the same time and has a very charming tattoo on her bum! Yep, you know who I'm sending the imposter's way! This is gonna be freaking hilarious! I'm laughing already! So, let's take this crazy little ride and see where it lands me remake fans' shit lists!

2011 Las Vegas

Hello, dolls and dollies! If I gotta introduce myself to you, well so be it. The names Vivian Addams and vampires are my game. Well, actually that's what I am. At one point, twenty-nine years ago, I was mortal like you and was a pretty damned famous tabloid writer for a little paper called Moonlight News. My loyal readers knew me as In the Hands of a Vampire. Vampires have been my life since high school and spanned right into my adult life. Well, vampires were what led me to a particular house on one non-particular evening where I came face to face with one of those so called creatures of the night. Boy, I was happy as a child getting what they whined and cried for and boy did I get it. Hm, just thinking about that night...okay, so you know my story. I was given the gift of immortality, wanting to suck all the time, and forever fabulous by the greatest piece of vampire ass I've ever had! Yep, Jerry Dandridge, dolls and dollies!

Okay, so I was made into a mistress vampire which meant I get every damned thing I wanted which included getting some serious booty from my creator every so often when we crossed paths or I sent my watcher Pauly hunting him down. Well, as the story goes, my tall, dark, and deady handsome was taken from me three years after we met by some nosy punk. I was devastated and thought I'd never recover from the loss. Really, I never did. My heart still aches for him and always will. Well, I took in my Mr. Dandridge's orphaned fledgling and raised him as his daddy would've. I taught the little guy everything I knew about being a vampire and at one point I had to set him free which was a few years ago. Little Ed keeps in touch off and on with his Mama Viv but not as much as a mama would like.

Well, once Ed stepped out on his own I got this whole sense of that thing called empty nest syndrome. It was just me and Pauly. I had nothing to keep me occupied; no more fledgling to coddle. What was a such a grogeous creature such as myself gonna do living in an empty home with just my watcher and nightly dinner items? I even got bored with the nightly rituals of sucking my food dry. I felt as if I had hit a vampire's version of a midlife crisis. I needed some excitement to keep me out of a rutt. So, what better way to drag myself outta my self pity? Well, damn it, why not a little Las Vegas thrills? Hit some casinos, taste some new flavors, and in the new millenium it was the perfect escape for that loneliness. So, I kicked Pauly in the ass and got him getting it all set up. I was pretty well to do; had my Mary Jane covered foot in the reality business buying all kinds of shitty properties throughout the United States but mostly in the north eastern region. Well, I spread my bat wings and dug those fabulous six inch heels into the dried soil outside of Las Vegas. I was truly excited for this new adventure. Excited to also get my fangs sunken deeply into what Vegas offered for my ailing tastebuds.

I could have just up and bought me a huge condo dabbed center of the hype of Las Vegas but I went a more subtle route. It was a while since I left my humble digs and thought of my painfully missed lover and determined I would find and purchase a typical suburban home. Yes, if you remember, I could just vomit thinking of the perkiness of suburban living but something caught my attention about a particular neighborhood that was made of those brand new homes. My journalism instincts kicked in and I sniffed my way into suburbia where there seemed to be a string of missing persons cases being thrown all over the newspapers. How interesting, I thought; brought back those fond memories of my tabloid career. Mysterious disappearances? Hm? Well, that was straight up my dark alley and right towards the possibility of another bloodsucker sounded fabulous to occupy my time. Well, first things first, this lovely vintage mistress had to scope out this dreaded neighborhood and I was swiftly brought back to the good old days.

Once we arrived in the area, I made arrangements to meet up with the local realtor who just so happened to live in the neighbor. What really shocked me was the woman's name, well, her last name that is. Damned lady was named Jane Brewster. Sound familiar? Should because Brewster was the last name of the little bastard who took out my beloved Mr. Dandridge. Who the fuck woulda thought? I felt as if I were meeting that shit's relative or something. Could it be a relative? Hell, if she was, well, let's just say, being a relative to a particular Brewster could mean a death sentence. Was I gonna pry? Hell, no! Truly, I had my plans for a certain Brewster which will come when the time is right. Yeah, it's been a long time but the plans have been in the works and slowly building for many, many years. Boy, did I have plans for him but screw that; let's get on with it shall we? Vampire in the neighborhood; my kind of digs!

So, I made arrangements with this Brewster woman to meet up with her in that particular growing hell hole which she happened to live in! I bet she had one hell of a time selling anything with the dwindling population. Well, who knows, it might dwindle more once I arrived. Hm, a challenge I sense. Who can eat more people? Who could make an entire neighborhood vanish quicker? Well, honestly, that's not my thing. I've learned from my gorgeous creator that you can't just wipe out the whole colony without suspicion so something tells me that the local vampire in that neighborhood was up to something more than a feeding frenzy. Once the arrangements were made and a time set up, in the evening of course, I decided to do what I once loved to do; walk fucking suburbia dressed all glorious vintage slash Elvira slash Vampira inspired to just freak the locals out and possible get a good idea of that suburban nightmare's layout.

Well, I was meeting up with the other Brewster, Jane she said for me to call her. What a fucking typical suburban mommy's name, Jane. The time was set for eight-thirty, my doing because I explained I was having to get used to the time difference. Actually I wasn't, I ended up waking up earlier which helped out because I had to get myself all lovely, as usual. With Pauly's assistance my face was made into perfection along with my ass long hair. I dressed to kill; possibly later that evening; my body all snug in a deliscious ass enhancing pair of vintage high waist sleek black capri pants with that naughty silver zipper down the back ending right at the beginning of curvy cheeks. Also, had to have the proper cleavage exposing red blouse with those adorable puff sleeves and front button undone dead center of my ample cleavage. Of course on my feet were those sexy peep toe Mary Jane's with that sexy strap around the ankles. Since it was hotter in that climate, never really affected me since I was a cold blooded bitch or lack there of, so I wore no shrug or cashmere cardigan.

Well, Pauly dropped me off at the beginning of suburbia and parked until I dropped him a line with that handy dandy cell phone; gotta love modern technology. The 1940s Mercedes pulled away from the entrance into the dwindling population of that suburban nightmare of idenctical dwellings. I understood completely why vampires chose such sickening places of cheer and family values; it was disgusting and could quite possibly induce vomitting for any creature of darkness. I eyed the entryway into my kind of hell while tucking a cig between my lips then lit it up. Really sucked not able to inhale like mortals but sucking at least give me the flavor; I was an expert sucker as a mortal and even more so as an immortal. I stepped forward with my vintage sunglasses over my lovely blues and into that nightmare of a proper society I strutted with my snug hips sashaying and those Mary Jane's tapping away against the sidewalk.

Vegas was a happening place, like my metropolis, but damned was the outskirt neighborhoods boring as hell! All those damned houses looked almost identical; colors were just different but each color sickening. Even seeing those colors through my black shades made no difference. I kept my eyes forward, ignored the aura of such a boring hell. Surely a vampire could really have a blast corrupting such a prim and proper way of life. Blood red instead of humble pastels painting walls. I could just imagine the people that lived there; with a great metropolis off in the distance like Vegas, I bet there was an array of folks who weren't your typical family dwellers. Probably some local strippers lived normal lives behind some of those perky walls. Yeah, I knew there was most likely normal families living there but so many varieties of people who worked the Vegas night life probably returned to a more humbling household to have a taste of normalcy. Well, many are probably having second thoughts knowing the little disappearance acts having taken place there lately. Damn, I wondered who the master mind was conducting all those magical disappearances?

I continued along that sidewalk for a good while, sucking and blowing until the cig ran out which I just tossed in the road. I sorta missed my metropolis. The north seemed a more pleasant lifestyle. Everything surrounding me right then just seemed so photo copied. Sure subdivisions were popping their pretty little identical heads around my turf but much of the old style class remained without being overrun by such disgusting nonsense. Well, so far I hadn't caught any eyeballs bulging out in honor of my presence; a shame, I needed my ego stroked. Not even my earlier meal stroked my fucking ego; it was a quick and clean kill when at one time I used to adore playing with my food for hours and hours. I lost my appetite for foreplay. Hell, I haven't sucked or fucked since losing my dearly departed lover. There wasn't a single creature, mortal or immortal that could compete with the creature that no longer was part of the undead or living world. He was superior when it came to satisfying all this! I am certain he would say the same of me if he were still on that plain of living. I paused my strut and looked up at the dull evening sky then shifted my eyes and looked to the ground; I wondered if he was somewhere in hell looking up at me. I wished he would've haunted me once in a while; a ghostly booty call was better than none.

In case you don't remember; this here mistress vampire came to a painful conclusion about my feeling for that delectable creature. I realized way too late that I loved him and still love him. Not an easy thing for a creature such as myself to admit but I did, well, inside myself anyways. Enough of that before I get myself into an emotional frenzy and eat this realtor to ease my suffering like an alcholic would with any liquored beverage available.

On I sauntered; there were a few for sale signs I saw but damn it all, the houses looked the same with exception the color! I really began to think that I would hate spending some time there even if there was another bloodsucker stalking around in the shadows. Huh, I wondered if that particular stalker was out there now. Damn, would that thing have a surprise on their hands if they happened to pop out thinking they were gonna get a bite outta me! Now that woulda been entertaining! Oh, I believe that critter probably sensed my perfect ass. I immediately picked up on that the neighborhood boogieman was a man. Yep, we immortals can determine the sex of another just by the distinct musk we all radiate. I've picked up the differences many times but mostly never went looking for them. Why was I doing the opposite in this situation? Well, there was something that seemed to be nagging at me. Something about this male vampire felt strange. Obviously he was hanging around suburbia which I fondly remember another doing the same. He was obviously the cause of the many disappearances; similar to another I will always remember; but the way this master vampire was going about doing it wasn't as calm and cool as that certain other. Just trust me when I say there was a reason I was being drawn in this guy's direction and that journalist inside me wanted to get to the bottom of it and quick.

Okay, there I was, the suburban shit hole I was to meet up with realtor Jane Brewster. If there's a Charley in the equation I would probably pass out or go all ugly and take them all out. Now, Miss Jane said the house was practically across the street from hers which wasn't too pleasant for me. I could imagine her being some perky woman bouncing around all giddy and I wanting to strangle her with her quirkiness. I took a glance at my little pendant watch strategically placed over my right tit. Huh, look who was early! I was never early. I was typically fashionably late. I guess that's a first for me! So, I stood at the end of that smooth and recently laid driveway; one Mary Jane slid to the side giving my hips and ass that fabulous cock. I lit up another cig; taken from the silver chain dangle mini purse. A hand on one hip and the other moving that cig in and out from my puckered bright red lips. I eyed the humble structure up and down. So that was the new style for constructed homes; I wanted to shove my finger down my throat.

There I was, stood there like a moron. I hated waiting. I could just go strut my cute ass across the street and ring some door bells and hunt this woman down. Alright, something caught my attention; well a sound caught my attention. I slowly turned my head and looked over my shoulder; a garage door was making it's way up which quickly bitch slapped me because that distinct scent that only we bloodsucking creatures became strong as hell. Well, well, would you know, right across the street was the elusive monster stalking that peaceful neigherhood. My lips puckered tighter with their corners lifting. I wonder if Mister Bloodsucker got a good whiff of my heavenly scent? Perhaps I was about to find out. I was definitely feeling not as bored as I was a few minutes ago. This just might get interesting. My luck perky tits will come bouncing outta no where like my own personal nightmare before I could get a real look at this vampire guy. Boy, I could smell him and he sure in the fuck could smell me; I smelled delectable with a mixture of my mistress aroma and signature orange blossom perfume.

Time to play. I looked forward acting as if I didn't even take notice of his musk. Yep, I was just looking at a possible purchase in that society of normals. "Miss Addams?!" well damn it all to hell, there came that perky cheery voice echoing in my direction. My eyes rolled behind my sunglasses then I stretched my full lips into a smile prepared to be charming. I slowly turned and there was that blonde Jane Brewster prancing cheerfully down her driveway with her hand waving at me like I were some long lost chum. She was making me sick and hungry at the same time. Why the hell hadn't the vampire next door ate her first? I gave her a finger wave while smiling but thinking of ways to snuff out her cheer. Then I watched her go to a abrupt skid upon looking where the male vampire scent radiated from. She completely did a one-eighty and shouted, "Hello, Jerry!" My eyes went wide and quickly shifted in the direction her ogling eyes were aimed. I lifted my cig holding hand and slowly lowered my shades down the bridge of my perfectly shaped nose.

There he was, this neighborhood modernized boogieman; okay he was somewhat a stud but not exactly my cup of tea. There wasn't anything tall, dark, and Mr. Dandridge handsome about him. Okay, he had the same first name. How often do you run into two vampires with the same first name? Um, not often! My eyes shifted to Jane who had completely seemed to forget my ass and was moving across her lawn towards this Jerry creature. My eyes shifted back to Jane's obvious distraction. My eyes narrowed a bit with suspicion. Something wasn't right. I could feel it. I pushed my shades back over my eyes and took a long suck off the cig then blew the heavy smoke from my nostrils. The tip of my Mary Jane tapped impatiently against the paved sidewalk. Okay, I understand he's got this whole vampire hypnotic thing that attracts ladies like horny months to a very deadly flame but what the hell was I? I was the fucking potential buyer not this dude who obviously already made his purchase and was having a blast sucking his way through the neighbor like an immortal masquito.

Something else caught my nose; it was more than death. I was used to mass graves; a human landfill was made on the farm land I purchase back in eighty-two. This wasn't the scent of human decay; this was a scent of immortality that has been building and building with stud muffin over there the huge assed cherry on top of that fucked up sundae. Oh, this critter was seriously up to something beyond sucking every damned neighbor dry. Oh, this was a mischeif maker and he wasn't playing truly by the rules. I dug into my purse and whipped out my cell phone. I spun around on my heels pressing speed dial. The damn phone rang and rang and to my disappointment my loyal watcher didn't pick up but I got his damned voicemail! God! "Pauly," I quickly spoke trying not to yell into the cell, "Yeah, come and pick my ass up. No, I haven't looked at the house. Perky tits is busy eye fucking her neighbor. You get this, you call me straight back because I'm gonna kick the ever loving shit outta you, Pauly." I tapped my thumb tip ending the call not wanting a ton of questions.

"Miss Addams!" I heard Jane sickenly yell to me, "Come on over and meet your possible new neighbor!" Well, ain't this just peachy. I get to get up, close and personal with this troublemaker. I shoved the cell back into my purse then took one last suck of my cig and flicked it onto the driveway. I again planted on a bright cherry smile and turned on my Mary Jane's. I looked over at the woman. "Hello, Jane!" I wanted to vomit with the sweetness in my damned tone. Well, time to shove myself in that vampire's face and boy I was gonna shove and shove. I stepped off the sidewalk and sashayed my curves all the way across the street; those Mary Jane's tapping away. Up onto the sidewalk but paused because my heels and lawns don't mix. Time to do a little tiptoeing and so I tiptoed across the lawn towards smiley and this other Jerry thingy. No way in hell he could even come close to the master vampire of all time! I made my approach; oh he wasn't letting on that he knew I was like him because that would mean suspicions in his direction. I stepped onto his domain, his driveway.

"Miss Addams," Jane said my name again in that mixture of giddy sweetness and panty throwing attraction towards her neighbor.

"Please, call me Vivian." I quickly chimed in but not once gave real notice to Jane's attraction. I eagerly shook hands with the woman who had a hard time really giving me any sort of eye contact; not that I really needed any. "Jane, dolly, I'm sorry but I really have to rescedule." I blurted out, "Something really urgant just came up."

"Really?" Jane said with that sweet disappointment, "Huh, that's a shame. Well, anyways," yep, my importance went out the window when that critter there came into smelling distance, "Well, at least you can meet Jerry since you will be neighbors, I hope."

"Oh," I continued my pleasantry though wanted to smack the woman and knock the smile off her face. I looked to the handsome creature who called himself Jerry. Time to play nice; I guessed. I reached my hand out to the stranger and waited for him to politely take my hand. Finally he reached and took my hand and graciously shook it.

"Vivian, Jerry Dandridge," Jane introduced which made me rip my hand from his, "Jerry, Vivian Addams." What the fuck?! I was stunned, shocked, and who the fuck did he think he was? There was no way in hell this fucker was my Jerry Dandridge! There was something definitely totally fucked up with this vampire! I felt my lips form that tight pucker of suspicion and disapproval. My blues narrowed behind my shades while my hands firmly planted on my hips. I fought the urge to get all nasty and ugly and kick this poser's ass with my six inch Mary Jane shoved far up his tight ass!

"Jerry Dandridge, huh," I heard the suspicion in my tone. What in the name of the Dark God was going on? Here's a Brewster bitch standing beside me and in front of me was some vampire douche bag using my ancient and deceased piece of ass's name!

"Yeah," he said as if it were his name.

"Huh," I said then turned my head and looked to Jane who looked confused by my reaction. I started to click the tip of my tongue against my teeth. Lady, you have no clue. There was some serious shit going down under that woman's nose. And how in the hell did she manage to have the same last name as the prick from another suburban hell further north and east? Was something somewhere wanting to fuck with me?

"Is something wrong, Vivian?" Jane finally asked as she glanced over at this Jerry Dandridge shit head then back to me.

"Um," I stammered a bit; wanted lunge atop the imposter and claw his blackish brown eyeballs outta his cute head then rip that black hair out by their immortal roots! "Nope, just sorry I couldn't view the house. My driver will be here shortly so I'm just gonna," I lifted my hand and pointed at the sidewalk, "Just trot my way outta here and meet up with him." I turned scraping my heels against the paved driveway and my lengthy hair swinging, "I'll call you tomorrow." I started down the driveway with my heels practically stomping.

"Nice meeting you." I heard that Jerry Dandridge wannabe call out with an almost smug tone; not as sexy smug as my Mr. Dandridge by far!

I skidded on those heels then darted my head to the side and peered over my shoulder at him; well damn him he had a funky assed smirk looking all cocky. "Yeah, you too," I practically hissed, "Jerry Dandridge..." I said his so called named sarcastically, "...my ass!" I mumbled. I did my traditional Marsha Brady with my hair then sauntered down his driveway and onto the sidewalk. Boy was I pissed. I started grumbled to myself finding this a horrible insult on my precious memory of my immortal beloved. Oh, hell I hoped Jane had a son named Charley who wipes his ass out like the other Charley did my darling. Oh, but I wasn't through with this guy, not by a long shot. I never said to my Mr. Dandridge what I wanted before his tragic demise but was gonna really tell this one what I truly thought just in case there was another Charley Brewster impromptu vampire slayer. That was the most fucked up shit I've ever gotten myself into and damn it I have been in some serious shit!

I lit up another cig as I made my way down the sidewalk. Where the fuck was Pauly; I screamed over and over in my pissy head. What kind of watcher doesn't answer when called? He was surely gonna get a beating! Typically Pauly was there to ask how high to jump before I even ask but, nope, this time he fucked up! Damn it all, Pauly! I sucked and sucked while one hand stayed firmly planted on my hip. Finally my cell started going off and I jerked that son of a bitch outta my purse and immediately shouted. "Where the fuck are you?!" I snapped, "You what? You went where? Damn it, Pauly, you were supposed to keep your ass parked!" I listened to his string of apologies and begging for forgiveness having went to the nearest Starbucks for a freaking cappucino, "Pauly, shut the fuck up! Just drive your ass where you dropped mine off and you best not leave me waiting! Understood? Damn right you understand! Quick fucking crying! Just do it!" I shoved the cell back into my purse and continued on my fuming trek outta suburbia. God, I coulda seriously used a drink; where was a suburban halfwhit when you needed one?

I moved down that never ending sidewalk sucking the life outta my cig instead of a poor soul. House after fucking house; it was a nightmare I tell you! There was no way in hell I was moving there. Okay, Mr. Dandridge, my Mr. Dandridge could handle suburban life but this bitch couldn't! In front of me I saw this skinny kid moving down the sidewalk. Huh, looked sorta tasty. I slowed my stomp into my typical sexual sashay and loosened my pucker into a more sultry version. I watched the kid stumble a bit once he really caught sight of me. Oh, he had to be about seventeen, a bit dorky with glasses, and obviously a ripe for plucking virgin; I could smell the purity from that distance and boy it smelled yummy. I paused and lowered my shades down the bridge of my nose then looked over them with my large blues. The kid skidded to a halt and my lips twisted into that puckery smirk. Firstly he was in awe of what he was looking at, me of course then the loud rumble coming from down the road behind me made the kid go suddenly pale and sent him darting up the nearest driveway. My puckered tensed; frustrated that a potential tasty orderve had just gotten away and was frightened off like a mouse having spotted a stalking pussy cat. Oh, yep, I figured it out right away!

I pushed the shades back over my blues and continued on my departure while hearing that loud rumbling continuing its way through the neighborhood and gradually getting louder and louder. Yep, I could smell that imposter getting closer and closer. I kept my ass rocking and hips cocking as I strutted forward perfectly balanced on my Mary Jane's. Oh, I was so damned ready to confront that fucker it was about to make me burst into a bout of hideous and evil laughter. Apparently this Jerry propped his cute buns on a stream lined hog. Where the hell was his watcher? He wasn't too damned brilliant if he didn't have one! A watcher is a necessity but I had a feeling he was one cocky mother fucker who thought himself to all grand and powerful to have a watcher. Which meant the shithead wouldn't have a problem confronting a bitch vampire who happened along his killing fields.

I pulled the cig out from between my lips the moment I heard that piece of metal slow down the moment it came rumbling near me. I flicked the cig onto the road where it landed just as the front tire of the hog rolled beside the sidewalk. I kept strutting; fuck him and his hog! Right then I could even tolerate sucking another vampire dry; especially one I knew would deserve a good old fashion drying. That hog of his kept on rolling while I kept on strolling. Bit by bit I was getting annoyed. My lips puckered so tightly I felt my cheek muscles begin to ache. Oh, I was on the verge of going into a major bitch fit on his annoying but firm tooshy. My Mary Jane's went to an abrupt halt then I made a quick spin with both hands on my hips. "What the fuck do you want?!" I growled loudly at the dumbass, "Shoo! You're bothering me!" I waved my hand in a shooing motion at him, "Go suck your neighbors, Jerry Dandridge." I sarcastically said the name again; not to offend my dear sweet and deadly Mr. Dandridge but that one sitting on his hog like a cowboy straddling a horse.

"Who are you?" he ignored my gesture and sarcasm.

"Oh, who am I?" I pointed my long cherry red fingernail at my cleavage, "More like, who the fuck are you? Because I know one thing for sure, you are not him by a long, long, and even longer shot!" I took a step forward; hell I wasn't afraid of him and the hog he road in on! I reached up and jerked the shades from over my eyes which had already went their vampire direction; silvery crystal blue etched with blood red. "You chose the wrong name to fuck with!" I felt the fangs brush against the inside of my puckering lips, "Oh, you're a looker but you in no way imaginable could compare to the real creature with that particular name you stole! Apparently there are identity theives amongst immortals as well!" I studied his clothing style with disgust; my Mr. Dandridge wouldn't be caught dead in some common clothes without real expensive labels. "And in case you were momentarily riddled with deafness; the name Vivian fucking Addams, asshole!" I grumbled through my clenched fangs.

"Are you finished?" he rudely said as he knocked the kickstand out then propped the bike followed by unmounting his hog, "I heard your damned name, bitch."

"Well, know this," I held my stance; I learned from my creator and lover to never back down from a challenge, "I know the name I gave you was mine. Look me up sometime because you'll definitely see this," I pointed at my perfectly beautified face, "Right next to the damned name. And I'm damned sure the face beside your so called name won't match that." I pointed at his face.

"You seriously need to get the hell out of my territory." he said with threat.

I looked at him in disbelief then belted out a short laugh at his expense. "Oh, really?" I flipped my hand through my hair, "What did you run around here pissing on everything?" I sniffed the air, "I don't smell piss but I sure smell a whole bunch of bullshit!" I made a quick click with my tongue, "See, I'm gonna give you a heads up, who ever the fuck you are." I took one step back and motioned my hands down my body, "All this was immortalized by the real owner of that name. So, I know you are not him. You are so fucking busted right now. What did you do, hear he died and quickly snatched up his name? It's a damn good one because that name represents everything you're not! Sure you got this whole mysterious cutsy thing going on but that ain't nothing compared to what I had the pleasure of knowing!" Oh, I wanted to tear into him so badly and make the bastard bleed all over the sidewalk.

"Lady, I don't give a fuck who you say I am or am not." he spat back at me; he had some balls I'd give him that, "You don't invade another's territory. So, you better keep on walking and never come back." He had this thing about dodging my accusations in one way or another which bugged the hell outta me! Who the hell made that prick? What type of vampire decided to turn him? He was acting like some territorial redneck about ready to stake a shitload of 'no trespassing' signs all over the neighborhood and instead of shooting, biting the trespassing vampires. Some damned neandarthal vampire must have gifted him because he was like some crazed cave man version of Dracula ready to strip off his shirt and go fisting his chest then swing a huge assed club knocking in some heads. He crossed his arms all macho and smug; at least he got the smug thing down, I'll give him that. "Unless you plan on showing me some respect." he said what? Then I watched those blackish peepers of his take in some of this vintage eye candy. "I'm always willing to be honored and served." he said what again?

I shook my head then looked at him as if he were nuts. "Doll, my Mr. Dandridge, Devil rest his dark soul, made certain that I became my own." I found him more than an egotistical prick, he was beyond full of himself, "See, I'm what, in our world maybe not the one in your screwed brain, call a Mistress Vampire which defines me as one that does not honor or serve any other soul. Oh, I've worshiped the fuck outta my creator because he was devine and fine as fuck but only in the ways you wished I would honor and serve your pathetic butt. But," I took that step forward again, "No, I am the one that gets honored and served by all the little dolls and dollies I deam fit for me to suck dry." Again, I dared another step forward, wasn't scared of his ass by far, "And, you can just go home at dusk, crawl into your hole and dream of me because that's the only way you're gonna get me to honor and serve." I flashed him my fanged smile and gave him a sarcastic wink with my thick black lashes. "Besides, you don't have to worry about this suburban shithole, doll, because it's not my taste. You might enjoy sucking these," I twirled my wrist with my finger aimed, "But I truly want to vomit even thinking about sinking my teeth in any of this. And that little burial ground you got going on; yeah, smelled it right away." I pleasingly watched him finally flinch.

"Oh, yeah, I have a good nose," I tapped the tip of my nose, "I smelled you right away and smelled that pit of brewing fledglings. It's gonna get your cute ass in some serious trouble breaking some pretty serious rules." I knew the rules and I knew he knew them as well. He was like some rebel with a cause. "See, I really don't wanna be part of some uprising. If you go ahead and keep sucking and sucking and turning and turning, well, the meal selection gets pretty thinned out. You're best to just suck then don't give a fuck; do a little decapitation and bury them deep. We can't have a shitload of idiotic and mediocre vampire wannabes running around all willy nilly, can we?" I shook my head with that scolding and disappointing look, "A world filled with a common breed of us is not a very pleasant world to think about. That's just overkill and tainting the gene pool. You have to be really selective. Hell, I haven't turned anyone. Well, chose my Pauly as my watcher. Then I've spent a lot of time molding my boy, we have the same creator but he's just a fledgling." I think I was rambling because his face went blank. "Oh, sorry, rambling." I gave a quick laugh then reached out and patted him on his firm chest, nice, "Well, I would say it was a pleasure but I'd be telling you a huge assed lie. Nice pecks by the way." I pulled my hand back.

His brows furrowed with a type of confusion; by the dark gods, I made this attractive tool speechless. "You're a stuck up bitch, aren't you?" he asked which surprised me because it was obvious that I was.

"Yes I am," I smugly smiled, "Thanks for noticing, doll." I took a step back guessing it was soon my time to depart, "Beleive me, you'll never meet another like me, I promise."

"Wait," something just hit him; I literally thought I saw a lightbulb suddenly snap on above his big head, "Vivian Addams." Oh, wait a sec, I think he might have heard of me. I was informed by Mr. Dandridge that I was well known throughout the vampire society. "I remember you." Damn, I hope he wasn't gonna go acting as if he were my Jerry Dandridge because I would run and find a makeshift stake and put him outta my misery. His hand lifted and finger pointed at him, "Ah, I know who you are or should I say, were. Yes, you used be high on the list, almost at the top of that list that many vampires shared. Oh, definitely you're the one vampires were warned about. They wanted you dead." He got it, by god, he got it; he wasn't too stupid. "You're that tabloid writer from the seventies and eighties who tried to convince the world that vampires existed." he looked almost humored by that knowledge, "No one believe you did they? And who in their right mind would turn you instead of kill you?" Oh, what an asshole!

"Well, if people were to guess, you." I said mostly out of sarcasm, "Yeah, Jerry Dandridge, like I said, gifted me. He saw it was more befitting for someone such as myself to be immortalized instead of put to death." Okay, I was standing on a sidewalk having an indepth conversation with the lousiest impersonator. "And in all honesty, I'm really concerned about the fuck who gifted your ass." I shook my head thinking the creator of this one was really a freaking moron, "And why the hell do you care because you're running around turning every Tom, Dick, and Harry or Harrietta into vampire fledglings. You seriously have no room to go judging by my knowledge and besides, look at me, why the hell wouldn't he have wanted to make all I have immortal? Seriously? You're not blind since you just recently wanted me to honor and serve you in which really translates to, you want all this," I again pointed at my cleavage, "All over that." I pointed at him twirling my wrist gesturing at his nicely designed body, "But, unfortunately for you, I'm way outta your league. I have more class than some common Vegas stripper. See, you're into the cheapest cut of steak on the menu when I'm the high priced, grade A, melt in your mouth steak that has been perfectly aged, trimmed, and seasoned." Oh, I was gonna fuck him so damned good.

I stepped directly in front of him and looked into his black eyes with my lovely crystal blues. Time for a little Vivian play time. I lifted both my hands and rested them against his wife beater covered chest. "We are two totally different breeds of the same species." I sang without my bitchy tone, "See, while you ride around on your little hog I'm being escorted around in a quite expensive work of art called a Mercedes. While you go to the nearest department store to perchase you tight jeans and tee shirts; I have everything in my wardrobe personally designed and tailored with very expensive price tags and even have many items that are vintage originals also with a hefty price tag." I was nailing his ass to the wall with my verbal jabs, "Then, when your running about these humbled streets sucking the lives outta little boys and girls; I'm tasting the finest that's always available to me. You live in a little house in the middle of nothing while I enjoy the roominess of my many, many homes that each one surpasses the price of your abode by millions. And while you're burying your prey in some hole in your hole of home; I have thousands of acres to dispose of my prey who will never return from their graves." I pouted my bottom lips mocking every verbal jab, "See, I am a Mistress Vampire. I am perfect in every way you could only imagine. I imagine you doing some dirty construction job while I'm spending millions and earning many more millions in return buying and selling shitholes like yours. My creator was a genius, remarkably handsome, irrisistably sexy, stylish beyond perfection, the most beautiful large brown eyes, and the most kissable lips." I reached up and dared myself and patted him on his chizzled cheek, "See, Jerry Dandridge didn't make trash, he threw it away. Jerry Dandridge made perfection because he was perfection. So, you possibly can't be Jerry Dandridge because you are none of those things." I stepped back a few steps giving him a pitying expression.

I removed another cigarette from my purse and lit it up. I took a long suck, "I don't blame you for wanting to be him." I commented with seriousness knowing what the real Jerry Dandridge meant to me, "Don't feel bad; I myself have always strived to even be close to what he was." the smoke streamed from my nose, "He was the true definition of a Master Vampire, doll, and always will be. I'm leaving here and going back to my real home where my life ended and immortality began. You can continue on with your cherade and go on making a mass grave into an army of heathens. But I have some advice for you," I took a long suck then let the smoke stream from my lips, "If that Jane happens to have a son named Charley; you'd be better off leaving all this behind and finding another place to reap havoc. Take my advice because I would've given the same to the real Jerry Dandridge if I knew what I know now." I caught the glare of the Mercedes headlights, "Well, there's my ride." I stated, "So long, not Jerry Dandridge and best of luck to you." The Mercedes pulled up to the sidewalk and Pauly got out hurrying around the car then opened the door. I moved towards to the Mercedes.

"You are the biggest bitch I've ever met." I heard him comment and I paused just before getting into the Mercedes. I turned my head and looked at him placing the sunglasses back over my eyes. I lifted my hand, kissed the tip of my finger and blew him a kiss. I got into the Mercedes' passenger front seat; Pauly shut the door and rushed to driverside. I quickly rolled down the window just as the imposter got onto his hog. "Thank you!" I shouted for what I felt was a huge compliment; always prided myself being a bitch! I rolled the window back up and Pauly drove the car out of that hellhole.

Well, don't say I didn't warn that vampire. I returned not long after and found some leftovers from some chaos breakout. That Jerry Dandridge was no more, just as mine. In fact he was destroyed by a teenager by the name of Charley Brewster. How damned ironic. History repeated itself even with a Peter Vincent who took that particular old Hammer film actor's name to become a famed Vegas magician act surrounding vampires; there was even an Ed who unfortunately wasn't as lucky as mine and even a damsel named Amy. History came back and bit my Mr. Dandridge's imposter in the ass. Perhaps my Mr. Dandridge played a hand in that poser's demise; gave that history another shot where again a Jerry Dandridge was ended. I wouldn't mourn that prick; felt pity that he had to go and steal my dark lover's name. Nope, nothing or nobody could compare to my Mr. Dandridge; he wasn't to be replaced by no one. The dark God saw to that. There is only one and true Jerry Dandridge and he was taken from me in 1985. If only I could have a second chance. If only he could be brought back, not by name, but completely then I wouldn't deny myself telling him everything I constantly regret never having said.

Rest in pieces; you name stealing shit, who ever you were!

But, rest, just rest my Mr. Dandridge. You never know what the future will bring. I have an eternity ahead of me and perhaps at one point I will again see your darkly beautiful eyes and watch those devilish lips of yours again. I pray to our dark god each and every break of dawn that when dusk comes you will once again be! There will always only be you! And, it's proves, don't steal another's name or you might just end up with the same fate! Just hope that one doesn't come back!


End file.
